Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Drake has all the answers
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
