I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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