drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize