We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
