Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
