PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
