This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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