What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
