Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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