Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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