Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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