Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize