Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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