1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
