i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
