i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
