maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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