I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize