i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
