there's paper in my vomit.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
