think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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