eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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