your thong is hanging out like whoa
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
