sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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