I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
