Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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