Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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