she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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