please come you make the beer taste better
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
