i think my tv is drunk
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
