u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
