Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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