yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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