I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
