I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
