Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
