yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
