you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize