Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
