Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
