she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Girls should come with a carfax report
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize