My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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