so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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