I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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