so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize