i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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