i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im holly from the hills drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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