There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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