I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
