My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
