i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
