Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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