I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
