you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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