Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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