just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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