If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
