Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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