i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
