In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
His nipple licking is glorious
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